ok, there's no podcast here, so don't look for the button to push. i assume i'll get back into this shortly, seeing as how very soon i will be living in a town where i know nearly no one and will have plenty of time and feelings of boredom. thursday at 5p.m. i touched down into san francisco after a 10 hour flight from buenos aires, a 6 hour layover in washington d.c. and a 4 hour flight in which i was made to feel like an anti-semmite. (which i'm not).

seeing as "an american girl in san francisco" or "an american girl in boulder, colorado" don't have the same ring to them, nor could they possibly generate the stories that living in buenos aires does, i shall continue with the witty observations and hilarity that spring from the unbeatable combination of me and the "paris of south america."

i have about 80 pages worth of notes, but i'll give my superfans a few mouthwatering tidbits to look forward to:

* throwing and winning a kissing contest
* driving a buenos aires taxi cab down the busiest street in the city
* exploring the powers of an all access back stage pass to the strokes concert
* visiting the foreign debt museum
(http://www.abc.net.au/correspondents/content/2004/s1373900.htm)
* going out to a club that OPENS at 8 am
* getting wooed by a traditional, conservative argentinain guacho/waiter
* quitting my job
* deciding to start a business in b.a.

ok, so , maybe in a week or two start checking back. i swear i'll do my part...

In which I:
1. Like the title reads, its been almost two months since my last podcast...I mean, is anyone even still checking?
Do you guys remember who I am or what`s important to me?

Well, if you can`t remember, this podcast is sure to turn your bland forgetfuness into sharp and bitter empathy for the life of an endentured servant ( i.e. waitress ). Basically every sentence begins either like this: "And you know what else really bothers me?" or like this "Now if I was running things, I´d do it like this..."

In short- if you like Woody Allen movies, you`re in for a treat. If you don`t, maybe just skip this one and go watch Everybody loves Raymond...

In which I:
1. Fail to abide by the "release early, release often" motto.
2. GET A JOB!!
3. Experience the tragedy of "Argetinian Tipping" (between 5% and 10%)

In which I:
1. Admit that, ok, there might be 1 thing about the U.S that makes me proud...
2. Get jiggy on the dancefloor (with only one drink!)
3. Express concerns about a world in which I get hit on by guys old enough to be my father.
4. Narrowly avoid getting swindled for 8 pesos by a mean woman with a long history of cosmetic surgery.

In which I:
1. List Star Wars movies in order of most to least favorite.
2. Display obvious discomfort with the term "Web Services."
3. Try not to cry.

In which I:
1. Dress myself according to survival instinct
2. Resent touristy germans, act aloof (see above photos)
3. Root against my own team, witness bloodshed, and attempt to abandom my friends in order to prevent a possible stabbing
4. Develop a new understanding and appreciation of the laws prohibiting alcohol consumption in the soccer stadiums

i just want to inform everyone that my boyfriend came here to visit me yesterday and we're going to travel a little etc. so, i just might not check back here quite so frequently because i.m not going to be doing much in the way of podcasting...sorry to all my fans (mom & dad).

love
kelly

In which I:
1. choose between breathing comfortably and looking good.
2. relate a terrifying tale about putting your feet on the back seat of a cab.
3. have a drink to loosen up, throw a great party...
4. get abandoned by my first friend here (see above photo.)

In which I:
1. Teach listeners how to use the cheap but effective "Poor Man's Bike Lock."
2. Eat my first 8:30 a.m. breakfast without having stayed up the entire night before.
3. Find out that if men's and women's worth were measured by the price of their Argentine soccer tickets, men would be worth twice as much as women.
4. Act like a tourist (see above photo.)
5. Flash back to a tantrum I had when I was 10 years old.

In which I:
1. Devide my life into pre- and post- Boca.
2. Introduce listeners to a new, funnier way to pronounce the words "Game" and "Over."
3. Fulfill my aching desire to be That Cute Girl on a Bicycle.

In which I:
1. Give a shout out to my mom.
2. Suggest a right way to be a party pooper.
3. Compare a used book fair to a cake store.
4. End my podcast the way Buenos Aires residents end their phone conversations.

In which I:
1. Can´t describe the forest for the trees.
2. Feel a momentary twinge of nostalgia for the university life.
3. Get accustomed to using the word "cladestino."
4. Confirm that Microsoft nerds differ very little from country to country.
5. Miss hip hop.

In which I:
1. Feel moved as Tango fans block off the street in San Telmo.
2. Learn that trash floats.
3. Consider the pros and cons of tradition.

In which I:
1. Give step by step instructions on how to be "pretty."
2. Get offered a job at a Thai restaraunt.
3. Take in a comedy show and am consequently forced to touch a woman´s breasts.
4. Learn that with my friend Lia, "one drink" means returning home at 7 am after 4 pitchers of beer and 2 shots of tequila.
5. Muse on the various Meccas of the world.

In which I:
1. Decide to switch to "episodes" instead of "days" due to inability to "keep up."
2. Find a cladestine bar disguised as a house only two blocks from where i live.
3. Begin to get a taste for "going out."
4. Use my entire ration of "quotation marks" in only three sentences.